There’s a quiet shame some carry in the Church—not because of a sin they committed, but because of a story they survived. It’s the shame of divorce.

We don’t talk about it much, not really. We might preach about grace and mercy on Sunday, but by Monday morning, the whispers begin. And if you’re divorced? Some believers will make sure you feel like you’re wearing a scarlet letter. Not the letter “A” for adultery, like Hawthorne wrote—but a scarlet D for divorced.

I’ve seen it. I’ve lived it.

Even when you’ve been faithful…

Even when you were the one who was abandoned, cheated on, abused, or walked out on…

Even when you fought to save the marriage and prayed through the night…

There are still those who show up with pious eyes and pursed lips, ready to remind you that you’re “less than,” “disqualified,” or somehow always under a cloud of suspicion. And they do it all while pretending they’re just “standing on the Word.”

But let me say this clearly:

Divorce is not the unforgivable sin.

Grace doesn’t stop at the courthouse doors.

And Christ never handed out scarlet letters—He tore them up.

Paul Would Have Something to Say

When I read Galatians, I hear Paul’s fire. He isn’t polite—he’s furious. Furious that anyone would try to put law back onto people Christ has already set free.

“You foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you? … Did you receive the Spirit by the works of the law, or by believing what you heard?”

— Galatians 3:1–2

Paul is wrestling down legalism with both hands. He tells us again and again: you can’t hold onto Jesus and still try to justify yourself by the law. If you grab hold of even one rule for righteousness, you’re back under all of them—and worse, you’re rejecting the very grace that saved you.

And yet, that’s exactly what some Christians do to the divorced. They act as if one broken covenant undoes the blood of the New Covenant. They ignore every tear cried behind closed doors. They disregard the pain, the abuse, the betrayal. And in doing so, they align themselves not with Jesus—but with the very legalism Paul fought against.

What the Church Forgets

The Church forgets that:

Not all divorces are rooted in sin by both parties. Some are the result of unrepentant adultery, abandonment, or abuse. And some people didn’t leave—they were left.

The Church forgets that Jesus made allowance for broken covenants, and Paul, too, recognized when a marriage had died beyond repair (1 Cor. 7:15). But legalists don’t like nuance. They prefer black-and-white categories where they can feel superior.

They forget that the Cross covers what the world considers “too messy.”

They forget that every single believer stands before God only because of grace.

And they forget that God doesn’t shame the broken. He redeems them.

To the Ones Wearing the Scarlet D

Let me speak to you, the one who’s felt that sting of rejection in the pews:

You are not disqualified.

You are not a second-class Christian.

You are not forever marked by what someone else destroyed.

You are redeemed, restored, renewed.

You are loved by a God who sees not just your past, but your perseverance.

Who knows the nights you wept, the prayers you prayed, and the pain you never asked for.

You are the woman at the well, the man healed by the pool, the one restored when others would’ve condemned.

You are not wearing a scarlet D.

You are wearing robes of righteousness, bought with blood, not law.

Let’s Do Better

As the Church, we must do better.

We must stop crucifying the already-crushed.

We must remember that grace is not a reward for the good—it’s a rescue for the broken.

So if you’ve been on the other side of this—if you’ve ever made someone feel “less than” because of their divorce—it’s time to repent. Not for believing marriage is sacred, but for forgetting that grace is sacred too.

Because at the end of the day, none of us get in because of our record.

We get in because of Jesus.

And that’s the gospel.